The plan was to not post anything more (aside from an open thread to come later) on this blog until I return from Christmas. Then I was directed to a video titled “Night of the Long Blades” on the Kamloops This Week website.
The video opens with:
The Kamloops Long Blades Festival, what was supposed to be a fun gathering for family and friends, turned into a heated competition between Kamloops This Week’s Marty The Reporter Hastings and speed-skater extraordinaire Chelsea Reith after Hastings challenged her to a race. What follows will go down in short-track history.
Then KTW reporter Tim Petruk tries to stifle a laugh while interviewing a suspender-bedecked Hastings. (Nice microphone, by the way.) (Marty The Reporter got his start taking a pounding in the wrestling ring from TWA champion Seth Knight.)
“I’m expecting to dominate this race. You can take one look at me and see that I’m in peak condition and have been for months,” Marty tells Tim. “I’ve been training for this. I’m ready to go, I just hope she is.”
Cut to a video of Marty doing jumping jacks and Reith talking smack about her opponent’s weight. Apparently Marty hadn’t trained enough because he couldn’t fit into a skin suit.
OK, that’s enough typing for me. I’m going to eat turkey.
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